Generation AO (Always On)

That awkward moment when you actually start having work to do at work and don't have to fill the hours writing blog posts about your random opinions on life... time to take this operation to nighttime, boys and girls!

Except for today, because I'm tired of trying to please the Internet Explorer Gods with my CSS styling.

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So, I'm 22 (and a half). I was born in 1989. I grew up playing kick the can (and other less defined games) with the neighborhood boys. One epic summer, with some lawn clippers and weed killer in hand, we made a path in the woods behind our houses. My brother and I used to run around the backyard with our imaginary friends and swing on the tree vines until the tragic day when the last one broke. We went to bed when we were told to (usually) and sat in our rooms reading books or sleeping. In school, I passed intricately folded notes to my friends when the teacher wasn't looking. We either watched Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network, and only on Saturday mornings.

Then, technology slowly started to happen. When I was in 6th grade, they taught us how to type. They had boxes that went over our hands. In 7th grade, my family got our first computer and I got an AOL e-mail address that my dad picked out for me. I used to send e-mails to my friends before AOL Instant Messenger got big. My dad figured out how to set up parental controls, though, so most websites were off limits and the internet shut off at around 10pm. For my 16th birthday, I got my first cell phone. I think I was limited to 200 texts a month, and I never even got close. My senior year of high school, I got a Facebook. My freshman year of college, I got a laptop. And right before my senior year of college, I got a smartphone.

And ok, so now I'm connected to the internet and all of my friends and family via an intricate network of Facebook and Google+ and Twitter and texting and (very rarely) calls and my laptop and my smartphone and my computer at work basically 24/7. And I really want to get a tablet, pretty much just because. Once I pay all these bills and student loans that are suddenly pouring in from LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

But you know, if the electricity goes out (like it seems to be doing a lot this little Summer Of Storms we got going on), I can revert back to my childhood and still find ways to entertain myself. I can read a paperback book. I can draw with paper and pencil. I can actually talk to people, FACE TO FACE *gasp!!*. I could read the newspaper! I could write a letter! I could play a board game! I could even PLAY OUTSIDE.

Now I'm just being crazy.

But this generation coming up, this Generation Always On, will have no idea what to do if the power goes out. So I have a brother about my age, and then a slew of younger cousins who are just entering middle school. They have cell phones with unlimited texting. They have iTouches with unlimited Internet access. UNLIMITED Internet access. As elementary school students. Do you KNOW the kind of things you can Google? I only learned that stuff if I begged the kids from the bad part of town to teach me what a curse word was. They probably even have Facebooks and Twitters and stuff that their parent's don't know about. At my graduation party, the twelve-year-old introduced me to her boyfriend of nine months. And alright, I had "boyfriends" in elementary school who I sat next to at lunch and drew pictures for sometimes, but somehow I doubt that twelve-year-olds today are just holding hands. Pretty sure some are even getting pregnant, even though that is just barely possible.

 And this is just the kids born ten years after me.

So you know what worries me? What are my CHILDREN going to be like? What are my children going to know about by the time they are even out of diapers. Are they even going to have a childhood? Or will they pop out of the womb with a computer and all that unlimited knowledge already embedded into their heads? Are you going to have to create their Facebook when you register for their Social Security Number? Are they gunna ask me "ok, first name, middle name, and Twitter handle?"

I like to think that I'll have wonderfully sweet (and freaking adorable) children who will make up little games outside with the neighborhood kids and will make arts and crafts with me on summer nights and will develop great interpersonal skills that will take them far and will appreciate nature. Maybe we'll have a few video games for rainy days, but they'll be the kind of fun games that get the whole family involved. They'll have cell phones for when they need to be picked-up after band practice, and they'll use the computers imbedded into their skulls to learn knowledge outside the classroom.

But I'm really worried that this is not even going to be a possibility. I fear that the next generation, my children's generation, will be Generation Zombie. Generation I-Have-Never-Talked-To-Anyone-In-Person. Generation Dies-Of-Obesity-Because-Went-Outside-Only-To-Get-To-Car. Generation No-Childhood. Generation Kindergarten-Sex-Because-I-Know-What-That-Is-At-Age-Five.

Maybe I'll just take them away from society and raise them like in Little House on the Prairie. As long as I have one hidden outlet to charge my future internet device because, come on, I have to stalk strangers on Facebook somehow.